Greedy Trial Lawyer
Big Tobacco Has Big Nuts
Category: Gaming The System
Let's help the tobacco companies! This is the headline at the California Medicine Man.
The Massachusetts Department of Public Health (MDPH) has published the results of a study they commissioned suggesting that the level of nicotine has increased in American cigarettes by ten percent over the six year period between 1998 and 2004....the largest tobacco manufacturers, Philip Morris and Reynolds American "declined to comment". Perhaps they never suspected that their actions would ever be discovered or suspected and they never imagined that they'd have to answer to them. I have no doubt that their public relations departments are now scrambling to come up with some palatable responses.
In the interest of helping these much-beleaguered tobacco company lackeys, I propose that we assist them in coming up with excuses for their inevitable press releases. I suggest the following:
There's no proof that increased nicotine content leads to increased tobacco consumption.
This was totally unintentional.
We are very concerned and will be looking into this immediately.
We forgot!
I'm sure there are others that more imaginative and fanciful readers can come up with!
I anticipate the actual response of Big Tobacco will be more along these lines:
Stay the course!
Who cares!
Tough luck!
Go To Hell!
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.greedytriallawyer.com/admin/mt-tb.cgi/322