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Greedy Trial Lawyer

Why I Am What I Am And Do What I Do

November 02, 2005

By Greedy Trial Lawyer

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Category: My Greedy Roots

We need to get one thing straight at the start. I am a Greedy Trial Lawyer, always have been and always will be. I sue the bastards, file frivolous lawsuits, clog the court system, drive doctors out of town, put corporations into bankruptcy, weaken the economy and increase the cost of health insurance. And, that is only a partial list.

Why do I do these things? The simple answer is greed. As soon as my feet hit the floor each morning my brain starts spinning schemes to generate money.

I could have been a doctor who wakes up planning his daylong unnecessary surgeries, but I went to law school. So, I think of lawsuits.

I could have become a corporate president dedicated to increasing the market price of my company's stock by creative accounting. I could have devised daily diversions of assets to personal accounts. Or, created totally fictitious assets.

But, none of this would have been as satisfying as becoming a Greedy Trial Lawyer who can freelance his way to success by attacking multiple targets of opportunity.

Where some may see corporations or insurance companies or governmental agencies I see deep pockets. The deeper the pockets the more I am attracted to their activities. And, the deeper the pockets the more likely the misdeeds, cutting of corners, fraud and coverups.

The only limitation upon my reach is my ability to convince a jury of the rightness of my cause. While Robin Hood needed a band of merry men, I only need six jurors who are paid by the Court System to listen to my oratory.

What a country!!

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I'm curious...

If you're all about making money, why do you spend time writing this moronic blog?

Posted by: glsbd at January 24, 2006 12:06 AM

Dear Curious,

I am pleased to have the opportunity to answer this question from someone so motivated by his curiosity that he would take the time to post such an excellent inquiry on my blog.

Being greedy does not take all of my time. So, I try to balance my greediness with public service. My blog is part of this effort.

I make a special effort on the blog to have something for every level of intellect. I want visitors to the blog to identify and appreciate something written just for them. In your case, it appears that the several items specifically written for morons have caught your eye.

Thank you for taking the time to put your little fingers on the keyboard.

Greedy Trial Lawyer

Posted by: Greedy Trial Lawyer at January 24, 2006 04:38 AM


Who will you sue when you find yourself in hell?

Posted by: gary at February 9, 2006 05:49 PM

Just discovered you.
You are a riot.
Keep up the good work.
(But if I ever see you in court I'll eviscerate you!)

Posted by: Steve, MD at April 12, 2006 09:22 AM

I just broke up with a Stupid Trial Lawyer, who could not give me the answers on the questions I had. I found the answers on your website. Thank you! See you in Hell.
Corporate Bitch.

Posted by: Vera at October 24, 2006 05:31 PM

Well, at least you're honest about it.

Personally, I would rather all the greedy trial lawyers to have become gredy CEOs - wasting company assets (even to the point of complete finacnial ruin) with the company's permission (sort of - they hired you) is not even in the same ballpark as ruining innocent bystanders for personal gain.

But, as I said, at least you're honest about it. That's a lot better than most, right there. If what you said is rally true (and not intended as humor), I think it's probably the only htically redeming thing about you, but it's still a lot better than some lawyers (who don't even do that).

Posted by: Deoxy at November 16, 2006 04:41 PM

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